Lost Love

The other day, as I turned onto a narrow road hoping to avoid a particularly congested area of town, I realized that I do not mind getting lost. In fact, I kind of love it. There are two exceptions to this: 1) if I am late and 2) if it is in a dangerous area at night. Other than those two exceptions, I enjoy being lost.

I like the adventure of not knowing for sure if I will end up where I intend on going. I like learning new ways to get somewhere and I like getting to see things that I might normally bypass all together. I also really enjoy jamming out to some music with my windows rolled down.

This realization got me thinking about how I have sort of been lost the past couple of years. Most of my friends took the roads that they knew would get them exactly where they wanted to be. They took jobs to earn an income, went to medical school to become a doctor, got married to become a wife and mother, etc. I, on the other hand, did not. And like the sadly cliched poet, I, I took the road less travelled by.

So, I've been wandering on roads called Camp and Unemployment and Singleness for the past two years, trying to figure out if these roads will ever lead me to my goal, which has gotten a bit more hazy as the years have passed. Despite all the bad things that have come with taking this route, I've actually enjoyed it. Maybe it's that I like being mysterious and enjoy the adventure of not knowing what in the world I'm doing. I have also learned some great things, about who I am, about who God is. And I've enjoyed lots of windows-rolled-down-top-of-my-lungs-singing moments along the way.

I think this is why lately I have been hesitant to be tied down. I don't want to take the normal route, despite the fact that it is easier and leads me straight to where I've always wanted to go. Maybe I'm just not sure that is still my final destination.

ANTM

I love watching America's Next Top Model. Addicting. And I can really watch it over and over.

I could never be on America's Next Top Model, though, because I don't think I could act like Tyra Banks hung the moon. I also would refuse to play along when she would do those little surprise skit things.

Seriously, Tyra, if the models don't understand that your house is not really condemned, that it's just an over-the-top way of you telling them they'll be moving, then they fit the dumb-model stereotype that you preach against each season. Or they've never watched the show.

I think Tyra probably does really help some people with self-confidence stuff and that's wonderful. But, there is such a thing as too much self-confidence, Tyra.

lunch-break hulu-watching

Today, I was watching The Simpsons on Hulu during lunch, and they made a joke about transubstantiation.

Bet you wish you had a nickel for every time you've read that sentence.

This could get a little crazy..

My new life plan is to not be fifty and think "I really wish I had tried to do that."

I'm only 24.

[Sometimes, I have little panic attacks when I realize how close I am to 25, 27, 30. Seriously, panic attacks.]

I've determined that I don't want to look back on my 20s and realize they were wasted wishing.

Therefore, I'm going to reach for some crazy dreams. Yes, dreams plural. I'm going to go for it. I may never fully realize any of them, but why not try?

Jesus in the Minute-Clinic

Once, I saw Jesus at a minute clinic. I saw him in a middle-age, middle-class black lady.

There are a bunch of details that I could go into about how exactly everything went down, but seeing as I was only watching (and eavesdropping in on) the action, I am not sure of all the details. Plus, I tried writing them out and they were just boring that way.

The point is, I saw one woman showing friendship to a complete stranger. She was a true friend in a moment when friendship was needed--she provided empathy, calming words, and practical advice. I don't know if the woman was a Christian, but I really felt that she was showing Jesus to the other woman. 

I thought in that moment of how badly I want to be like that. Usually, I don't do a good job of it. I would love to just help people, especially people in distress, like that woman. To take someone's horrible day, and make it a little better. I need to work on that.

What Do You Want to Do?

An old friend called me yesterday about a job I had wanted. She asked if I was still interested in working at that particular place. Good thing it was a voice mail, because had we been having a "live" conversation, I probably would have fumbled a bunch of sentences, basically meaning, "I HAVE NO IDEA!" But, it's probably not good to give out that impression. The impression that, at 24 years old, I am a mess. 

I've been thinking a lot about what I want lately. As in, what do I want to do. Some may say that it's not about what I want, and I get that. But isn't it a little bit? Shouldn't we want to do whatever it is we do? I hope whenever I do settle into a "career," or whatever I settle into, it is something I enjoy. I think we should all wake up excited about what we do and go to sleep thinking about ways to improve it. That can only happen if you do something that you want to do.

So what is it that I want to do? I HAVE NO IDEA!

Boyfriends Are Ruining My Social Calendar

My friends need to stop getting boyfriends. This epidemic is putting a damper on my social life. Seriously, if you can't provide me with an adequate boyfriend, don't get one yourself. Because what happens is this: We still hang out, but when he's out of town, or doing something else, or worse, also there. I love your boyfriend, he's fun, but let's face it--no one likes being the third wheel. We also usually just hang out doing the stuff you haven't already done with him. We go to the mall or watch a chick flick, because the two of you already saw the Blockbuster hit. You also went with him to the play I want to see. Meanwhile, I'm trying to contact my few still-single friends to see if someone, anyone, will go to a concert with me. 

Don't get me wrong, I completely understand. If I had a boyfriend, I would definitely do those things with him and not with you, my single friend. Sure, I'd try to make you feel comfortable being the third wheel, and maybe we'd have some success. However, I would appreciate if boyfriends came in sets. You know, when one girl gets hers, her closest friends also get one. That would solve so many problems.

I didn't even get to go to the fair this year.