Lessons from the Israelites Volume 3

Numbers chapter 11 makes me laugh.

The first sentence starts out, "And the people complained" [again].

God responds to their complaints by sending down fire.

Next, they decide they want some meat. And they whine about what a lovely variety of food they had while they were enslaved in Egypt. Yes, they may have been beaten, they may have done hard physical labor the majority of their waking hours, they may have had to sacrifice their children, but they had free food--fish, melons, cucumbers, garlic, onions, and leeks, to be specific (and may I point out, only one of those mentioned is a meat, and not even a full-time meat like steak). Then God took them out of all that oppression, continued the free food deal, but only served them manna. The nerve..

Then Moses starts complaining about the Israelites complaining and he uses this great argument: "Did I conceive all this people? Did I give them birth, that you should say to me, 'Carry them in your bosom, as a nurse carries a nursing child,' [...]?" And then he says, basically, if God's going to continue to treat him like this, He should just kill him now.

(I understand that Moses didn't have it easy, but those statements make me think of a response a dramatic teenager might have upon being asked to babysit her little brother on the night of a high school party.)

God, I'm sure impressed with Moses' mature debate skills, gives him some helpers. And He promises meat. Lots of meat. And I quote, "Therefore the Lord will give you meat, and you shall eat. You shall not eat just one day, or two days, or five days, or ten days, or twenty days, but a whole month, until it comes out at your nostrils and becomes loathsome to you."

Moses questions this statement.

Which drives me crazy. I mean, seriously, Mo. How do you still not believe?

And God responds, "Is the Lord's hand shortened?", which I think is like saying, "Really? Remember the sea? Remember the manna? Yeah. I can still do stuff like that."

Then, sure enough, there's quail the next day.

But, God, still a little mad about the whole thing, also delivered a plague.

Classic.

As much as I think this whole chapter seems a little ridiculous, I know there are similarly ridiculous times in my life.

I pray for things. Okay, I whine and I complain about things. Then, God answers my prayer. I'm happy for a little while, but soon enough I begin whining again, having found something else to be unsatisfied about (or about which to be unsatisfied, if you're a grammar connoisseur).

Confession: mostly, lately, I whine about what I'm doing with my life.

I wonder if God ever says to me, "Oh, you want something to do? You'll have so much to do with your life, you'll have plans coming out your nose."

Actually, I'm pretty sure He does. I just didn't hear Him because I was whining. I'm pretty sure, because I do have plans coming out my nose (figuratively speaking, of course).

[Need something to do with your life? I have a plan you can have, fresh out of my nostril! (I'll leave that last part out in my ad campaign)]

And then there's old Mo. For him to question God in this passage makes me shake my head in disbelief. Yet, I am guilty. I know all the incredible things God can do. I have seen some with my very own eyes. Then, He gives me a promise and I wonder how He's going to make it happen. I suppose, for a second, like Moses, I forget about the Red Sea and the manna and for a moment it seems impossible. And in that moment God says, "Is the Lord's hand shortened?"

Praise Him it is not, nor ever will be.

Things I Like: Unpredictable Weather

I like unpredictable weather.

Don't get me wrong, I don't always enjoy surprise changes in temperature and precipitation (I also like the word precipitation. It's fun to say. But that's a whole other Tuesday) and I have been known to complain when I only have a jacket and ballet flats, instead of the more appropriate wool coat and boots, as I walk through snow flurries, or when I wear a sweater and it turns out to be 65 degrees that day. In fact, I became genuinely angry two weeks ago when the roads went from perfectly clear to treacherous in a matter of minutes.

However, deep down, I like it. I like that I live in Tennessee, where I've seen snow in April and my cousins once wore shorts on Christmas. I also like, that no matter how much technology and knowledge they have, the meteorologists are still sometimes wrong.

I'm not sure why I like for the weather to be unpredictable.

Maybe it's a little bit of pride in where I live. Tennessee is known for the unpredictable weather we have (At least, Tennesseeans act as if our weather is tons more unpredictable than other places'. It probably isn't.) and I'm mostly proud to be a Tennesseean.

Maybe it's because I've come to really enjoy unpredictability (which I think camp did to me) and I find the whole thing a little funny. I always love a good story, and being trapped in a sudden downpour makes for a good story.

Maybe because I think weather is God's way of showing us he's still in control. Sometimes I picture him looking at the meteorologists' predictions and thinking, "Let's have a little fun with this." In all likelihood, God does not think that way, but he is in charge and often unpredictable and weather shows off those traits perfectly and powerfully.

[P.S. Two Things I Like Tuesdays back-to-back is not cool. I'll try not to make that happen again.]

Things I Like Tuesday: Two Laugh-Out-Loud Websites

This first installment of Things I Like Tuesday is pretty straightforward. I like these two websites/blogs. They make me laugh, sometimes out loud.

unhappy hipsters--pictures from magazines of "hipster" homes, with new, hilarious captions.

awkward family photos--this one's been out there for a while, but is updated everyday. Mostly, I laugh and ask, "Why?"

And there you have it. Enjoy.

Coming Soon...

I have become aware, through various conversations and tracking mechanisms, that people actually read this blog. Amazing. Thank you, really.

So, I'm gonna start doing some more stuff. Por ejemplo (you know what's weird? After 4 years of Spanish classes, I can't speak it hardly at all, but I still think of some phrases in Spanish first.), on Tuesdays, I'm gonna write a post about things I like. Much like the rest of this blog, there will be no rules for this, except that I must like whatever I write about. But the thing(s) I like could be serious, funny, or just completely random. And I chose Tuesdays because it's a difficult day--you still have four days before the weekend, and that can be rough. There will be other stuff coming too. I just haven't decided on anything else for sure yet.

There's something else we need to discuss before moving on: comments.

I have five comments. Total.

Now, honestly, honestly, I don't care.

But, I think I get some sort of blog points if I get comments. My friend Mary said something like that once. Well, not really. I made up the whole blog points thing. But, she did say something like comments = good and I believe her, because part of her job has been to research effective blogging.

Why do I need blog points? I don't know. It seems like a good idea.

Really, it would be cool for you to comment on here, because you already do, and I'd really just like to know what you're talking about. Let me unconfuse that (and, no, unconfuse is not a word, but shouldn't it be?). A few of you have said really cool things to me in person, such as "I read your blog and I was thinking, 'That is so true!'" My thought-response to that is, "What, specifically, was so true?" I'd love it if you'd say that on the actual post, then I'd know. Then, I could lean toward writing stuff you actually like to read--so, really, it helps you, too.

But, truly, if you don't want to comment, don't. I don't care.

I'm just trying to get enough blog points to buy something cool in the blog store.

Okay, not really. I made that up.

Read this! (well, not this. Okay, read this, and go to the link and read that.)

Someone asked me to write more often on here. I have failed at that this week...but I did get published on one of my favorite websites. Here's the link: http://bit.ly/9mN9OH

Two things I love about where I live (specifically)

I was trying to think about what to write next. I was debating about what should follow up a post about a dictionary, a post about punctuation, and a self-reflection post. Then I remembered, my blog is about nothing and everything. No rules. So, without further ado, two things I love about where I live (specifically).

I live on Falkner Lane.

[I will pause here, because I realize some of you are panicking because I just shared my actual. street. name. with. the. internet. Calm down. Google already knows (please read that phrase again, but this time picture some creepy, pale girl with long, dark hair and wide eyes saying it v e r y s l o w l y. It's more fun that way.). They do. We have no private lives anymore and, the way I see it, you can embrace it, or become Amish. There is no other choice. Okay, un-pause]

I love that I live on Falkner Lane because it is sometimes spelled Faulkner Lane. And by sometimes, I don't mean that people spell it wrong when they address envelopes; I mean that the actual street signs spell it differently sometimes. There are three Falkner Lane street signs, and when I first moved here, two of them were spelled Falkner and one was spelled Faulkner. I thought it was funny and briefly wondered how I would ever learn my address. Then, a few months later, they changed all the signs to Falkner Lane.

When MapQuest became popular a few years later, we quickly learned that, according to the internet, Falkner Lane did not exist, but Faulkner Lane does. So, I began spelling it that way. Then the street signs followed suit. For about a year. Then, they all changed to Falkner Lane. Again.

Here's what I think happened. The street was named after some local guy named Falkner. However, every so often some new guy comes along and thinks we've misspelled Faulkner, as in William, as in the "great" southern writer. So, they "fix" it. The real Falkner's family drives by, gets upset, tells some important government person, and the signs are fixed again.

Also,

Recently, they demolished this house down the street from me. It was really old and falling apart, so when it was sold, the house was demolished. Behind the house, though, was an incredible tree house. It wasn't really something-you'd-see-on-TV incredible, but more like some-kids-are-super-proud-of-this-thing incredible. It has several levels and is huge in homemade-treehouse terms.

And they left it there.

The house is gone, only a concrete slab, but the treehouse remains.

I think there's something very poetic about that. And someday, maybe, I can do it justice poem-wise.

So, there you have it, two things I love about where I live (specifically):

A street with two names and a lone treehouse.