Vulnerability

What if I were truly vulnerable with people I love?

What if I were more vulnerable with everyone?

Once, I heard a pastor say that someone can only love you as much as you are willing to be vulnerable with them.

When I thought about that, I realized how true a statement it is. To be vulnerable basically means to be open to hurt, criticism, and attack. Vulnerability is not necessarily fun, but it is necessary to form significant relationships. When I think about my relationships, I know that the people I am most open to are also the ones who love me the most. My parents, for example, know almost everything about me. They are the ones the most able to hurt, criticise, or attack me because they know my weaknesses better than anyone. At the same time, they love me more than anyone else does. And, hello, Jesus. He knows even more than my parents, yet he gave his life for me out of love.

This is true even of people outside of the realm of close relationships. My church recently did a series of sermons based on the Beatitudes about recovery. Several members of the church stood before the entire congregation and told us of things they suffer from--everything from co-dependency to addictions to same-sex attraction. They made themselves completely vulnerable. And I loved my church even more.

Then there are people I don't know personally and probably never will--the same is true for them. Think about Taylor Swift. She's doing pretty well for herself. I heard her say once that her last album was basically her diary. I know enough about diaries to know that no one wants people to see theirs. To see someone's diary is to see their intimate secrets. They are exposed and vulnerable. Taylor Swift writes songs about her crushes and her heartbreaks, sometimes even including the person's real name. She is exposed, yet she has won how many awards and sold how many albums? People love her.

Another person this is true of is Jon Acuff. If you have never read the Stuff Christians Like blog, you need to. I'm a big fan. He recently wrote a Stuff Christians Like book and I read several reviews, including this one here. The reviewer in that article is one of many who attributes the success of the blog and book in part to Jon's vulnerability. He is telling Christians what we do is sometimes silly, but that he is right there with us. He tells readers his weaknesses and that makes all the difference. I haven't read the book yet, but the blog is full of "I make mistakes" moments. And he has a huge following. I mean, millions. Even non-Christians like his blog/book because he is honest. Honest and vulnerable.

There are many other examples. Postsecret is a art project/book series/blog based on people's secrets--people getting vulnerable with complete strangers (though, it is for the most part anonymous, so there's a degree of vulnerability not quite reached there). People like watching shows like Biggest Loser and American Idol, where the contestants' weaknesses are revealed and their secret dreams are exposed. The What if series here began from a blog, really from the comments, where people were opening themselves up to attack: they shared their secrets--hopes, dreams, fears.

What if we were all more vulnerable?

I want to be more vulnerable, more honest. I like people who are vulnerable and honest. And so do you. I think if we were all a little more vulnerable, we'd all be a little more loved, and a little more loving.

It's pretty simple. Just try to be like T. Swift, a blogger, an artist, losers, idols, and people at my church. Okay?