Things I've Learned Being Friends with Boys

I had three really close guy friends in high school/college. If they were girls, we'd be BFFs. But they're not, and really, I was always one of the guys, too. Lots of girls say that, but let me paint the picture for you with a few random scenes:

--Numerous conversations would be interrupted with a "Guys, I just remembered, Elizabeth is in here." "So?" "So, she's a girl." "So? It's just Elizabeth." (And yes, this entire conversation happened in my presence)

--One of the guys had a "man-cave" at his house. His dad said no girls/women were allowed in "except Elizabeth."

--I once hosted an all-boy sleepover. (I slept in a room upstairs, they slept in a room downstairs; doors closed; parental supervision. Just so we're clear.)

During all this time spent as one of the guys, I learned a few things:

1. Eat quickly. I am naturally an extremely slow eater. It is not at all uncommon for me to look up from my 1/3 finished plate to realize everyone else is finished. Girls will politely wait on you, because they really want to talk for a while anyway. Guys, not so much. As soon as the last bite was taken, they were looking for the bill. I think the first 10 or so times I ate with these guys, I probably only finished 3 complete meals. I had to learn to eat a lot faster or starve.
2. There is a difference between "hot" and "pretty." It was not uncommon for me to be interrupted when talking about a friend with the question "Is she hot?" Sometimes the answer was yes, and sometimes it was "She's really pretty." One is not necessarily worse than the other; they are just distinctive ways of describing someone. There is also the less-common "cute." I also learned to rate all three descriptions on a scale of 1-10.
3. Everything is a competition. Drives from one side of town to the other, grabbing a certain seat on the couch, getting everyone to agree with you, etc. To say that guys are competitive is an understatement. When I was hanging out with these guys all the time, I had to learn to compete, or just be left out.

4. Guys are more laid back. Whereas girls like to have a plan, these guys rarely had an "activity" planned. The whole of the afternoon would be spent watching TV or at the pool. Sometimes we'd play games, sometimes we'd do absolutely nothing. It didn't really matter.

5. Despite their reputation, guys get their feelings hurt, too. I have gotten the "she rejected me" phone call. (Just a note on this, please do not flirt with one guy if you're already seeing someone. I mean, seriously, how are they supposed to know?) I think I offered ice cream and my company as a consolation (and I kept my mouth shut on the "I didn't really like her for you anyway" matter for a few weeks). 

One thing I did not learn from the guys: how to burp on command. Despite their best efforts--about 30 minutes of 3-to-1 tutoring one day--I still cannot do it (nor do I really want to).

I love my friends that are girls and have had many girl friends throughout the years, but these guys have been constants in my life. I love getting a different perspective on things--it's entertaining and educational!

people-pleaser, please don't tease her

I am a people-pleaser. I'm not sure if I've mentioned that before. 

The thing about being a people-pleaser is that it can be a good thing. It's nice to want to make people pleased. However, I usually take it out of moderation and into the extreme. Then it is mostly not a good thing. 

Por ejemplo, I recently came to realize that a person in my life does not think as highly of me as I once imagined. I think that this is actually a recent development--I feel that this person did, until recently, think fairly highly of me, but now I have moved down their list of favorite people. Perhaps this is all a figment of my imagination, but I have my suspicions. 

Now, really, this is fine. It doesn't necessarily hurt my feelings that I no longer hold as high a place in this person's mind, but my problem is that I want to win my spot back. I have been obsessed with trying to figure out why I am no longer as liked and how I can be liked that much again. When I say obsessed, I mean that I sit thinking about it a lot--did I say something, do something, write something, not do something? I have even tossed and turned at night trying to figure it out.

This is not good. 

It is so not good that it is wrong.

I realized this sometime in the midst of my scrutinizing every interaction I have ever had with this person. 

Why, I thought, do I care so much? Because I am desperate for the approval of others. It sounds so silly and so sinful, not to mention a huge waste of time, when I just type it out like that, but it is the truth. And now it's on the internet. 

I also thought about how much (or how little) time I spend obsessing over whether or not I am pleasing God. I mean, it sounds elementary, but I had forgotten to put into practice what I know so well--I should try to please God rather than people. 

I'm not really sure why I am confessing all of this on the blog, but there it is.

[I was going to try to segue into these verses in a more creative fashion, but I need to watch about 100 lectures tonight (okay, maybe more like 4), and I've had an extremely creative week at work, so I'm zapped.] 

Here are some verses that I'm going to try to obsess over, instead of obsessing over whether someone likes me to the same degree that they liked me yesterday:

John 5:44

How can you believe, when you receive glory from one another and do not seek the glory that comes from the only God?

Colossians 3:23-24

Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for me, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ.

Psalm 19:14

Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.

Things I Like Tuesday: Tea

Green Tea - Breakfast Tea - Chamomile Tea - Chai Tea

but not Earl Grey!

photo by Shandi-lee

At the age of three, I was invited to my first real tea party. Wearing a dress three sizes too big and plastic heels that clicked as I walked, I went, bearing my Fisher Price pink tea set. I had had my own tea parties previously, attended by my dad, mom, and uncle, along with various dolls and stuffed animals. But this was a real tea party, with real tea!

photo by pigpogm

There are many guesses as to when tea began as a beverage, but many agree that it happened about 4000 years ago in China. The story goes that Emperor Shen Nung was boiling water, for health reasons, when a leaf fell in the pot. He noticed the water smelled good, so he tasted it, and apparently deemed it yummy. This is how the Chinese say tea was "invented."

The Japanese tell the story a little differently. They say that 1900 years ago, a Buddhist priest named Drama decided to stay awake for seven years and think only of Buddha. He was able to stay awake for five years, but then he started to fall asleep. In desperation, he grabbed some leaves from a nearby tree and began chewing on them. The leaves refreshed him and kept him awake for the next two years. The leaves were tea leaves. 

Other stories include the introduction of tea by a Buddhist monk named Gan Lu in China, and that it came out of the eyelids of the patriarch Zen Bodhidharma. 

 I'm probably going to go with the Emperor Shen Nung story.

photo by ratterrell

What about that delicious Southern nectar known as Iced Tea (which is always, always sweet--no need to specify)? It was invented at the Saint Louis World Fair in 1904. A tea merchant named Richard Blechynden (what an amazingly fun name to say!) couldn't get anyone to drink his hot tea in the hot weather. So, he poured some ice in. Instant hit.

photo by prakhar

When I was in college, I fell in love with tea. I was born and raised on the iced, sweet variety, but I found a new reason to partake--caffeine! I don't like coffee (well, I barely tolerate coffee with my cream), but there are times in one's college life when caffeine is a need. I learned to drink tea and I haven't quit yet. 

I fit in perfectly when I went to England. There, tea is always served with some cream and sugar. I loved it. We made tea constantly in our flat, with our electric tea pot. Electric tea pots are often in place of the American coffee pot--even in the dorm rooms! 

photo by Mastery of Maps

My favorite tea I've ever had was Kenyan tea. It was actually from Kenya. I had it while staying at the house of a couple--one a British missionary's kid, one an American--in Switzerland. I'd love to get my hands on some of that tea here in America. It was like English Breakfast, but stronger and richer. Yum!

other people's weddings

"Oh," she thought,"How horrible it is that people have to grow up--and marry--and change!" 

--Anne of the Island

It's a running joke between me and even mere acquaintances: "What did you do this weekend, go to another wedding?"

This weekend, the answer was yes.

Between shoes, dresses, gifts, bachelorette parties, showers, and gas to get all these places, I have spent an estimated $800 on other people's weddings this year. 

Crazy.

None of those above statements are complaints (except maybe the first one, but Anne said that, not me), just a statement of facts.

I love my friends. I love that they have found love. I love being a part of their big day. [And I hope that someday, they'll get a chance to return the favor :-)] Also, I just love weddings.

I think I have been to my last wedding in 2010, but I already have at least two penciled in for 2011. Bring it on.

Happy Cliché Day!

Today, I have been informed via Twitter (How would I know anything without Twitter? Really.), is National Cliché Day. Luckily, a post about cliches has been brewing for quite a time in my busy mind. The reason for the prolonged stewing is mainly because it took me this long to figure out how to put the accent mark in cliché (and I didn't really apply myself to it; generally, I'm a quick learner). So, let's go at it, this cliché rant--because this will be a rant.


I am not going to rant about how we should stop using clichés. Oh, no. While I have mentioned before that I dislike clichés, it is not because of the clichés themselves (with the exception of "this side of the grave", which makes me shudder and, strangely enough, isn't typically used in a morbid way), it is because they have become clichés. How sad that such colorful expressions become so common that they are no longer original. The whole reason they are clichés is because they were worth repeating--thousands upon millions of times.


This avoidance (like the plague) of clichés carries over to other things, too. A style can become clichéd. Quotes are clichéd. [Mark Twain, C. S. Lewis, anyone?] Bible verses are clichéd. [And this is the saddest of all, in my opinion. Take Jeremiah 29:11. It's a beautiful promise, but it's been printed on approximately 90% of all religious graduation cards out there. It has become so overused, that I never really paid any attention to it until I had to teach it to 5th and 6th graders every week for 10 weeks one summer. It's lovely--one of my favorites for sure.]


The Southern folk are fond of their colorful expressions. We don't just say, "Give me an estimate," we ask for a "ballpark figure." My grandmother didn't just say, "She wasn't very pretty," she said, "When God was passing out good looks, she must have been asleep. Bless her heart." We say someone is "stubburn as a mule," "quiet as a mouse," and "sly as a fox." I love it. Sadly, though, many of these have become clichés.


Maybe we should just continue to churn out some new creative ways of saying things. I agree; we should. But why can't we say "there's an elephant in the room" when that is the most perfect way of saying there is something unavoidable, which should be addressed? Elephants are definitely unavoidable in the middle of the room, and really should be addressed--I mean, why is there an elephant inside?


Basically, I both love and dislike clichés. I want to be able to make cliches--write or say stuff that is worth repeating--and use clichés that are already worth repeating. There's my rant--my two cents, if you will.


So, have a happy cliché day. In fact, I hope you are tickled pink, happy as a clam (or a lark or a pig in the mud) by today and all its clichés!

Things I Like Tuesday: Fall!

crisp morning air - shivery nighttime temperatures

 bonfires - pumpkins - jackets

orange, yellow, red! leaves

festivals - parties - friends - family - holiday anticipation

(fall is pretty much my favorite)

photo credits: flickr user Munira :)

yo, check it

I wrote a rap.

I got into the assignment by accident. See, at work, we have these creative meetings where we plan out sermon illustrations, kids videos, logo designs, and other creative stuff. The particular meeting where I was assigned rap-writing duty was one to discuss creative elements for a sermon series on the Ten Commandments. The pastor said something about the sixth commandment (do not murder) and how he wasn't going to simply preach on physically killing people. I replied, to clarify, "Like, killing in the head?"

Somehow that translated in his mind to "Killin' in da Head"--the perfect title for a rap. Since I was the one to "come up with the title", I was assigned to writing the rap (also probably because everyone thought it would be funny to make me write a rap).

Using this (hilarious) guide, along with this video, I wrote a rap.

Without further ado, "Killin' in da Head":

Killin' in Da Head from FBC Goodlettsville on Vimeo.

Performed by Jeff Kelly and Ryan Coatney
Lyrics--Elizabeth Hyndman (2nd verse edits--Ryan Coatney)
Music--John Carroll
Video/Editing--Jeff Kelly